Hello Sunbeam
Shortly I will write my simplest explanation for the concerns on Chakra (still trying to get this UFO story out the way). I'll give wisdom or wise ideas about this complex matter, and maybe we can work together to get you to where you desire to stand.
I sense that you are somewhat frustrated about the others exulting experiences of feeling free, or the experience of being free. I admire your being for finding passion in such pure ways of living, And I like people whom wish to live pure...
Geez, when I was about 15 I had those similar contradictions pounding my every thought - I wanted to be everything else that the world was (smart, intelligent, charismatic etc). Therefore, I studied hard and experienced first hand much about many ways of living. I became understandable and appreciative of this life of living, although many things about it are bad.
I know there is much more to know out there, and by simply helping others grow I grow too at the same time. Win, win situation I believe, and it is great meeting new friends, simply at the cost of being myself...
I live happy now for I look back at history and say, I made a really good choice in life to follow such manners of living. And with that, my next goal in life is to help others where and when I can.
So it won't be long till you read another perspective on such a grand topic.
Peace my friend, Ciao for now...
BTW, were you talking about Sponge cake? I love sponge cake with ice-cream...
Just joking, I know what you were relating to.
But notice how I flipped your intended emotion of sponge and paraphrased it to make a happy thought for me.
Life is about this too, looking at the little negative things to seem a greater positive outlook.
Cheers, gonna eat my cake now...